Y'all...
sometimes life gets hard.
and sometimes I forget about all the great things that have happened in my life, and instead dwell on the not-so-great things.
Like how i've been jobless for 1.5 months. and only 2 places have called me back..and those two places were NOT what I thought they were..
Like how our rental house is great, but since it's so old, it has that "always dirty" feel to it
Like how I've been consuming wayyy to many Krispy Kreme's and oreos. That's going to look real nice when it reaches my butt.
Like how I am selfish and want to be skinny but also want to eat sugar and fried foods for every meal.
Like how my college degree isn't getting me anywhere right now...
Yeah...life sucks, don't it?
Not really.
Not at all, actually.
Let's think about the great things:
-My husband starts LAW SCHOOL tomorrow. He is making me so proud. I wanted to just cuddle up next to him ad squeeze his cheeks while he was working on a brief this evening, but instead I watched design star and bachelor pad. (<--Talk about mindless, trashy show right there)
-We thankfully have a nice little savings account that will help us to float while I am searching for a job.
-We are renting this perfect little house for us and our animals that is close to law school, yet outside of Raleigh so rent is more reasonable.
-The Lord has been reminding me that he is BIGGER than any of this. He is bigger than my worrying about jobs.
WHY do I fail to remember that so often? I think it's because I am so prideful and have this feeling that maybe, JUST maybe I can do this on my own.
But I can't.
Ain't NO way.
and yet, the Lord doesn't get mad that I don't listen sometimes. He doesn't leave me to fail. He is there for me even when I ignore him. Sheesh...that's pretty crazy.
Today was a rough day. I just had this thought all day that "no one wants me". That even though I graduated with honors from college, that it wasn't good enough. That even though I've applied to 15+ jobs, something about me is WRONG.
I know that 's not true though. Deep down I know that.
After my mini pity party was over, I was reminded of the many blessings I have all around me.
My family (BTW, my dad and brother are coming to visit on Wednesday!)
My wonderful husband who is working his tail off in law school
My friends who always find ways to make me feel better
And although this may seem silly to some, my freaking adorable puppy. While we were at the beach, her and I were sitting on the porch and I was reading my book. She was looking so sweet and I whispered to her "Penny girl, you bring me so much joy." Of course, she didn't know what the heck i was saying, but she really does. Her sweet face and demeanor is a blessing I will never forget. (Even if she is terrified of ceiling fans)
I love her. She is so loyal to me.
So, here's what it all comes down to.
I am blessed. Even if I am jobless. Even if I do eat too many oreos in one sitting. Even if the mower wouldn't start when all I wanted to do was surprise the hubby with a manicured yard when he got home from law school, but I spent twenty minutes throwing my arm out..and still no luck.
I am blessed. God is good. ALL the time.
Great post! It's so easy to dwell on the negative stuff and forget all of God's wonderful blessings! Hang in there on the job search. That happened to me a few years ago right after I got my Master's. I literally applied to a 100 jobs and I just couldn't understand why no one wanted me. Finally when I was about to give up I was blessed with THE most amazing job! God has great things in store for you and he will put you in the place that is perfect for you!
ReplyDeleteKait - hang in there - I had a similar experience with job hunting while working on my masters.....I couldn't even get hired at the local coffee shop and then this wonderful job came along that led to another, to another and finally to the best job of my career! If He leads you to it - He'll lead you through it!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for posting!! Hang in :)
ReplyDeleteOh, it's always nice to remind yourself how lucky you are when you're feeling down about something. It sounds like you have a lot to be thankful for! Congrats to your hubby on law school - it's both a very fun and very trying 3 years!
ReplyDeletePuppies really are the best and so loyal and loving NO MATTER WHAT. I think they are truly god's creatures as they love unconditionally. I have 4 dogs. Teehee! Hang in there and keep the faith.
ReplyDeleteaww I love you Kait-something WILL come through. Just be patient--and pray and persevere through it! I love you and I'm here for you--even if I'm all the way in Texas....love you Foo!! praying for you!
ReplyDeleteand you are TRULY BLESSED!
HI, Kait! Nice to meet you. What a great post! You are so right! And you have a beautiful puppy!!
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